Tokyo Etiquette Guide for First-Timers: What to Do (and Not Do) (2025)
Tokyo Etiquette Guide for First-Timers: What to Do (and Not Do)
The ten things that come up daily, and a handful that come up at temples, restaurants, and onsen — without the panic
Japanese etiquette has a reputation for being intricate and intimidating. In daily Tokyo life, almost none of it is — the rules are mostly common sense, the locals are forgiving with foreign visitors, and the worst case for breaking a custom is usually a polite stare. But knowing the basics makes the city much easier to move through, gets you better service, and means you avoid the few mistakes that genuinely annoy people.
This guide covers what actually matters: the ten or so things that come up daily, and a handful that come up only at temples, restaurants, and onsen. No memorisation required — read it once before you arrive and you will absorb the rest from watching the people around you.
The general rule: almost all Japanese etiquette comes down to not making other people uncomfortable in shared space. If you are unsure what to do, ask: am I making someone else's day harder right now? If not, you are probably fine.
On the Train
The subway is where visitors most often get etiquette wrong, because Tokyo trains are packed and the volume difference between Tokyo and most foreign cities is striking.
- Do not talk on the phone. Texting is fine; voice calls are not. Set your phone to silent (manner mode).
- Keep conversation low. A normal speaking voice carries louder in a Tokyo train than you think. Locals talk softly when they talk at all.
- Take your backpack off and hold it in front of you or place it between your feet on a packed train.
- Let people off first before boarding. Stand to the side of the doors, not in front of them.
- Priority seats are clearly marked. Sit if the train is empty; stand if anyone elderly, pregnant, disabled, or injured boards.
- Eating on the subway is not banned but is impolite. A bottle of water is fine; a sandwich is not. (On long-distance Shinkansen, eating is normal and even encouraged.)
Queueing on the platform is taken seriously. There are painted lines marking where each carriage will stop. Stand in line, not in a cluster, and the boarding process is faster than anywhere else in the world.
At Restaurants
- Wait to be seated. Even at casual ramen shops, staff will gesture you to a seat or a ticket vending machine. Do not seat yourself unless told to.
- Tipping is not done. Service is included in the price; leaving cash on the table will sometimes prompt staff to chase you down the street.
- Hot towel (oshibori): use it to clean your hands before the meal, not your face or the table.
- "Itadakimasu" before you eat ("I gratefully receive") and "Gochisousama deshita" after ("It was a feast"). Optional for foreign visitors but always appreciated.
- Slurping noodles is fine and even a compliment to the chef. Slurping soup or curry is not.
- Pouring drinks: at an izakaya, you pour for others, others pour for you. Pouring your own drink is acceptable but unusual.
- Sharing dishes: use the back end of your chopsticks (not the eating end) to transfer food to a shared plate.
Chopstick Rules That Matter
Vertically stuck chopsticks mimic a funeral offering. A strong taboo.
Same funeral association. Use a plate instead.
Don't wave them around to gesture either.
Place chopsticks on the holder. If none, lay them across the bowl.
Beyond these, almost everything is forgiven. Holding chopsticks awkwardly is normal for visitors and earns no judgement.
At a Temple or Shrine
Tokyo has both Buddhist temples and Shinto shrines, and the rituals differ slightly. The basic respectful behaviour is the same: walk calmly, speak quietly, photograph carefully.
At a Shinto shrine (e.g. Meiji Jingu)
- Bow once at the torii gate before entering.
- Walk to the side, not the centre of the path — the centre is reserved for the gods.
- Wash at the temizuya: use the wooden ladle to rinse the left hand, then the right, then pour water into your cupped left hand to rinse your mouth, then tip the ladle to clean its handle.
- At the offering box: toss a coin (¥5 is traditional and the cheapest), ring the bell if there is one, bow twice deeply, clap twice, pray silently, bow once more.
At a Buddhist temple (e.g. Senso-ji)
- No clapping when offering — Buddhist prayer is silent.
- The incense pot outside the main hall: light some incense, place it in the pot, and wave the smoke toward yourself for blessing.
- Photography is allowed in temple grounds and outer halls but discouraged in inner sanctuaries. Look for signs.
Both: do not photograph people praying without asking. The grounds are usually free; the main halls open from sunrise to sunset.
Onsen and Sento (Public Baths)
Public baths have stricter rules than almost any other space, and they are taken seriously. The good news is that once you know them, the experience is among the best in Tokyo.
Wash before you bathe
Always. Sit on a low stool, use the shower wands and soap provided, rinse fully. The bath is for soaking, not washing.
No swimwear
Public baths are nude. Changing rooms are gender-segregated, and the modesty towel stays out of the water.
Tattoos are sometimes restricted
Many traditional sento and onsen do not allow visible tattoos, due to historical association with organised crime. Tattoo-friendly bathhouses are increasing — search "tattoo OK onsen Tokyo" online for current lists.
Hair tied up, no photos, low voices
Long hair tied out of the water. Phones in the locker. Conversation is normal but kept low.
Most onsen will provide a small towel for the changing room and a larger one to dry off. Soap, shampoo, and conditioner are provided in nicer baths but bring your own at budget sento (a ¥100 vending machine usually has them).
Money and Shopping
- Hand over money on the small tray at the register, not directly to the cashier. There is one on every counter.
- Cash is still common at small shops, ramen counters, and old izakayas. Card is fine almost everywhere else.
- Bargaining is not done. Prices are fixed.
- Receipts are usually offered; you can decline politely.
- Tax-free shopping is available at most stores for purchases over ¥5,000 — bring your passport.
In Public
- Stand on the left of escalators in Tokyo (right in Osaka). The walking lane is on the right.
- Eating while walking is uncommon. Locals usually stop near a vending machine or a konbini to eat or drink, then move on. The exception is festivals and snack streets like Nakamise.
- No public trash cans. Carry a small plastic bag and bin at your hotel or a konbini. The most common surprise for first-time visitors.
- Smoking is restricted to designated areas in central Tokyo. Walking-and-smoking is fined; check the signs.
- Crossings: Tokyo pedestrians wait for the signal even when there is no traffic. Locals notice.
Greetings and Language
You will not need to speak much Japanese in Tokyo, but a few words are useful and appreciated.
"Excuse me / Sorry / Thank you for the trouble". The most-used word in your trip.
Formal "Thank you". Casual "Arigatou" is fine in shops.
"Please" — used for asking for something or for service.
"This one, please." Pointing works.
A small bow is the default greeting, even when you only nod slightly. Handshakes are uncommon outside business contexts.
Hotels and Accommodations
- Take off your shoes when entering tatami rooms, ryokan, and many traditional restaurants. There will usually be a clear genkan (entrance step) and slippers waiting.
- Slippers in, slippers out: bathroom slippers are separate from house slippers in many places. Look for a different colour or design at the bathroom door.
- Yukata at a ryokan: the lightweight cotton robe wraps left over right (right over left is for funerals). Tie loosely.
- Quiet hotel hallways: Tokyo hotel walls are thinner than European or American ones. Speak quietly after 22:00.
Photography
- People: ask before photographing strangers, especially in shops, temples, or quiet streets.
- Maids and cosplayers in Akihabara: usually no photos without paying for an official Polaroid.
- Restaurants: usually fine to photograph your food. Ask before photographing other diners or staff.
- Subways and stations: generally fine, but no flash, no tripods.
Things That Are Not as Strict as You Think
Hand or chopsticks both fine. Light dip on the fish side, not on the rice.
Locals will often help unprompted. It is fine to ask.
A small head bow is enough for foreigners. The deep business style is not expected.
Common, encouraged, and not considered cultural appropriation in Japan.
If you make a mistake: almost no one will correct you. Most Japanese hosts will smile, sometimes laugh kindly, and let it go. A quick "sumimasen" if you notice you have done something wrong is enough.
Practical Tips
- Carry a handkerchief. Many public toilets do not have paper towels or hand dryers, especially in older parts of the city.
- Do not blow your nose loudly in public. Sniffing is preferred until you reach a private space.
- Cover your mouth when coughing — masks are still common and respected in Tokyo, even after the pandemic.
- Avoid pointing with one finger. An open hand is more polite when indicating direction.
Apply These to the Rest of the City
Etiquette is the operating system; the apps are everywhere. See our Tokyo Onsen & Sento Guide for bath specifics, our Asakusa Complete Guide for temple practice in action, and our Tokyo Train & Subway Guide for the daily transport rules.
Comments
Post a Comment